Alanis Morissette’s “Uninvited” Lyrics Meaning
Alanis Morissette’s “Uninvited” seems to be about a lady feeling good about how a man seems crazy about her but she finds him unworthy of her. She is intrigued by this man but for some reason does not want to be with him.
At the beginning of the song, she seems excited about how much he seems to like her. She mentions that she’s flattered like any woman will be but goes on to say that he’s not invited or allowed. This obviously means he’s not invited in her life.
In the third verse, she makes it sound like this man is a bad boy. She talks about him wanting her because she’s ‘uncharted territory’ which might mean he’s been with different people but just not her and that’s why he’s that drawn in.
At the end, she mentions that she doesn’t think he’s worthy of her. He should therefore focus his attention on someone else.
A More In-depth Explanation
Alana Morissette’s description of “Uninvited” is as one premised on the vocalist suffering from a “fear of love”. But whether a listener is able to derive that notion from the lyrics is a matter of perspective.
For example as presented, this song can be interpreted more along the lines of the singer not wholly feeling the addressee as opposed to being afraid of love in general. For instance, in the chorus she soundly specifies that he personally is “not allowed”. And whereas the verses do indicate that Alanis is impressed by this attention she’s getting from this suitor, at the same time the song as a whole seemingly implies that feeling is not mutual.
But the singer does close this piece out by clarifying that she doesn’t actually have anything against this person who has fallen with her but instead “need(s) a moment to deliberate”, i.e. think things through before making a final decision.
In the chorus, Alanis also appears to classify this whole matter as “an unfortunate slight”, which may, all things considered, be her way of saying that she too has developed feelings for this person, despite clearly not intending or wanting to.
“But you, you’re not allowed
You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight”
So again, the way this piece is interpreted is a matter of perspective. For those of us who empathize more with the rejected, perhaps it can be taken that if the apple of the addressee’s eye is so forcefully dismissing him from the get-go, then he should give up. But others may be able to identify more with the vocalist, who ultimately isn’t telling her suitor no but rather expressing, more holistically, her own apprehension to be smitten.
Alanis penned the song to be featured in the 1998 movie titled “City of Angels”. However, she mentioned that she was also going through her own stuff so it was also about her.
Grammy Accolades
At the 1999 Grammys, this song received a total of three nominations. At the end of the day, it won in three of the categories it was nominated in. One of these categories was the “Best Rock Song” category. In achieving this, “Uninvited” beat the likes of Semisonic’s “Closing Time” and The Verve’s “Bitter Sweet Symphony“.
Release Date
February the 24th of 1998 was when Maverick Records officially made “Uninvited” commercially available. It as part of the soundtrack album of the movie mentioned above. It was actually the first song to be released as a bona fide single from the project.
Are there any covers of “Uninvited”?
Yes. In 2007, the musical duo Freemasons released a very successful version of this hit. It was so successful it topped a number of singles charts, including the UK Dance Singles Chart. It was also one of 2007’s top 10 hits in Britain.
In the end she literally says that he is not UNWORTHY!!! And that she needs some time to deliberate.
Yes!!! Thank you!! That was bugging me too!
“I dont think you unworthy. I need a moment to deliberate” thats the 3rd verse..not i dont think you are worthy. Cant believe anything u read online dude. Dont make an entire article about a song you dont actually understand and care so little about to even know the lyrics. For shame
I think he just has a girlfriend.
I know this is 5 months after the last comment, but I just wanted to back up the fact that she 100% says he is NOT uninvited and has to think about it.
I believe she pegged him all wrong, thinking he just wanted to get with her like a trophy and walk away, but started realizing it had nothing to do with that, but that he was literally madly in love with her, and he was as surprised as she was because he tried to walk away but the heart wants what the heart wants! Peace and love to all
Yes yes yes .. totally agree
She says several times in the song that he is uninvited.
“I don’t think you unworthy…” is a double negative. She thinks he IS worthy but she is not sure about getting involved (making love) with him.
Sadly I hear this song, as a date gone wrong. She may have been interested in him, but he has either misread the signals she was giving off, or chooses to not to listen to her cues, verbal or not. As he is caught in the throws of passion, and oblivious to her feelings, she feels like a captive audience.
She starts by saying she is flattered by the advances of this handsome man
She wanted a object (person) to crave, as she is lonely
but that did not mean that it was a OPEN INVITATION
she feels that, that she has, that he has, misjudged the situation
She, in her thoughts, taunts him, saying it must be nice to watch me squirm under his control, she feels helpless
She sees him as trekking through uncharted territory (her)
She feels trapped, but like any imprisoned person, she starts to side with her capture, So she feels she will need to deliberate.
I believe she is in a relationship with another man and this guy is too tempting for her to be around.
I believe she is stating what she thinks this man is saying to her. I think she’s revealing that she gets his arrogance, she gets she’s uninvited despite what he says out loud. He is selfish and she’s placing a mirror up to him saying “yeah, I got you d–k head. Wish I hadn’t wasted time, but seriously? As f—ing if…🙄” Just my interpretation.
I perceive a strong element of fear in this song. She doesn’t WANT to feel flattered, but he stirred the long buried emotions of a “stoic.” She’s scared of her feelings and perhaps a bit nervous that she may end up liking this arrogant fellow too much. The intensity of her feelings is evident in the dramatic music. At the end of the song, she states “I don’t think you unworthy. I need a moment to deliberate.” So basically, she’s still conflicted. She indicating that she’ll think about it, despite her reservations.
Yes! Right on, I agree!
I love the song I agree with most of the fascination on her end and having power in the fact that she has the last word and has a little fun watching him squirm. But the strongest feeling I get is from the music that changes from fascination to fear. The innocent piano in the beginning of the song make it fell innocent and child like . The minor notes also ad a little sadness, but as the song progresses The strong presence of cello and violins and other string instruments along with drums changes to a crescendo of fear and possible violence . A fascination to her has now become an unstable stalker that suggests a violent outcome.
I feel this a class, society or cultural thing. Like he’s not good enough to be part of her “group”. Maybe she’s an elite of some kind, and here comes the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. She loves his attention, she craves him but she knows he’s below her. She’s the stoic because she’s been trained to ignore emotions and do what’s “appropriate” and he’s got her squirming because she’s strangely attracted to him and not able to control her emotions around him. She is attracted and drawn to him, but because of her status a relationship will never happen with him. “Shepard lead Shepard”, he’s on the outside looking into her world where all these elites are following the society structure that’s been created for them. Ignoring their emotions and desires just so they don’t lose status. Others follow and want to be them, so they are all considered to be the people others follow and want to be.
She doesn’t think he’s unworthy but she still won’t be with him, just because of the difference in their society status, to her…that’s an unfortunate slight to him because she sees it’s not him, personally, it is just the way things are.
I think the man was married. However she was also attracted to him but knew it was wrong. By the end, she was contemplating the affair. This is why she needed to deliberate.
Could she be saying ‘liberate”? – she needs time to liberate, not deliberate.
Maybe that means she needs time to feel liberated, independent with her own decision’s, so she feels like any choice that’s made- is ultimately… hers- because SHE wants it- not him, nor society influencing her path.
Awesome song. She has the best voice but it sounds like shes talking about a Karen
I would believe she wants him but 2 things. 1 is unfortunate…its an I’m sorry you feel that way pity even. 2 is the word slight which is basically an insult. At first its unfortunate I don’t see you that way but the bad side cant help but say your not good enough. The ending is interesting though. Alanis can write some serioulsy deep shit. One of the best somg writers and voices.
I see it in a more divine way. They are not in the same place. That maybe in the past she didn’t value herself so she was blinded by someone’s attraction to her. Now she is in a stronger personal space. She’s in a new place of self love so she’s not counting Him or her out, but she isn’t going to be sucked in by flattery. It will take something deeper
Anyone who thinks that maybe this song is about abuse in a relationship?
Honestly it reminds me of when my best friend’s father came on to me. I was 16 and I was intrigued but I knew it was wrong and made me uncomfortable but also interested. I didn’t do anything with him but man, this song brings it all back.
In the musical, Jagged Little Pill, the song is sung by a character remembering a rape or unwanted sexual experience that she has blocked out.
Song about raped/abused by an older man…yet it somehow fasinated her thus needs time to deliberate.
I think it could be about a stalker. She’s flattered by the attention but also creeped out by it (“watching the stoic squirm … you’re uninvited.”). The stalker talks like they have some intimate connection when he really doesn’t know her at all. He feels slighted by her rejection, which she doesn’t mean to be harmful, but his instability makes it worse for him. In the end, she knows she needs to separate herself from the situation but a small part of her yearns for the adulation, hence the deliberation.
I agree! She was drawn in to realize it was toxic stalker vibes
You have to think about the movie that this song was written for. Better yet watch it. City of Angels. A wonderful movie about a angel on earth who falls in love with a woman.
she is a full on teaser
From my point of view, it’s a woman’s inner monologue when dealing with a man trying to break the friend zone. He’s been invited into her life (as a friend, perhaps), but now he’s UNinvited (as a romantic interest). Then she tells him that he’s worthy and she needs a minute to think about it.
I came upon this song a month after my divorce from the Narcissist King. I fell so hard for his facade and fantasy of a perfect life with him. The flags were definitely there but I invited him into my heart and he destroyed everything about me. I loved him deeper harder more true than I have ever loved anyone in my life. After I filed for divorce he continued to play me for 7 exhausting emotional months. I am just starting to uninvite him access to my heart and soul and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do no matter how malicious and toxic he is. This song is definitely at the top of my playlist night and day until I get to the point where he never existed and I no longer feel pain over him. He’s definitely not unworthy of the pain I hope gets inflicted on him when the truth comes out and I promise it will
What if the woman was raped and she is talking about the baby
I saw this as maybe the husband or boyfriend of a friend… someone who is taboo to her, and its unfortunate because, at the end of the day, she does find him a possibly worthy suitor. But the situation forbids it, although he seems to be coming on strong and making her have to be very firm.
♡
It clearly states in the song that she doesn’t find the man unworthy, but just needs time to be by herself and deliberate. Listen to the whole song before you right a post like this!
An internal stuggles exists within her. She’s opened herself up to someone that she normally wouldn’t “invite” into her life. A struggle between your conventional idea of a partner and her desires.
I think you nailed it!
I think this song is about a woman who is being chased by a man who is coming on too strong. She needs him to back off. She’s not sure if she’s interested in him or not yet, so she needs him to chill out and give her a moment to think.
There is another cover done of this song. I’ve been unable to find it anywhere but YouTube so far. It’s by the band Ref Sun Rising. It’s sung by a male which makes it a little interesting. The bands take on the song is amazing. One of the best covers I e ever heard.
I have a different take on this song: Just imagine she’s singing to a priest, and they have a mutual attraction… ( the Shepherd needs Shepherd line especially). He’s experienced love like hers before ( but with God), he’s not allowed but he wants her, she wants him, he’s not unworthy as a man.. he’s a priest after all, but, it’s still ‘wrong’, due to his vows he’s not allowed etc…. makes sense?
I straight up think this is about an unexpected pregnancy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m reminded by this song of my molestation/rape/ince-t with my brother. This is my message to him. In fact I’ve sent him this song…
She hasn’t decided. She’s “deliberating”. She’s intrigued. She will? But for the “slight” she’s in. It’s too late to ignore her attraction.
https://youtu.be/46tYVRZ1eow
Kelly Clarkson Covered.
Such an EPIC song
Clearly a song about her and Dave. Age difference was taboo.
It was from an incredible Love Letter, he was not unworthy, he was intriguing as she was to him. She could not bring herself to find out, or make that decision as she wasn’t expecting this incredible letter and thus why he was not allowed and thus uninvited into her space and time and although it’s everything she wanted and needed it is to psychotic to think of to write a stranger who makes 100% sense in his confession of love. She not saying he’s unworthy, but needs to deliberate a little more…… The greatest “Love” never happened.
#9 Nailed it.
This …
“I believe she is in a relationship with another man and this guy is too tempting for her to be around”
Could it be based on the movie? Love between and angel (Nick Cage) and a mortal (Meg Ryan). Just simply inspired by that forbidden love?
The meaning of this song is clear to me. Alanis is already taken, committed or married to a man. The man whom she’s singing to is an admirer and he has let her know how he feels about her. He’s uninvited because she gave him no indication that she’s interested in him. It’s not allowed because she is already taken, committed or possibly married to another man.
Bout rape /inc*st…by an older guy to a younger girl…yet somehow she liked the guy thus needs to deliberate.
I’m sure this is about a STALKER.
There is an alternate interpretation for many of the songs on this movies soundtrack. Before I get into it I just like to say that the movie can be interpreted not as a love story and not between two people but just one person and a deep internal struggle. If you take this interpretation of the movie you can apply it to songs like Iris and uninvited and many of the lyrics make perfect sense. The song uninvited is about someone struggling with gender identity specifically a trans woman going through gender transition. She is female and speaking to her old masculine self.
When you go through gender transition, there’s this point where you start to look female and you have to make a decision am I going to keep going with this and completely change my entire life and shut the door on my old self. Should I uninvite my old self? I don’t hate my old self I don’t have anything against him but Emma is the true me not the previous name that I used to go by. But it’s a very hard decision it’s scary. You’re changing your entire life and you hesitate for a long time in order to buy yourself more time because there is a point when you’re transitioning where the medications effects become permanent and there’s no going back.
I am flattered by your fascination with me…
When I was a guy I had a fascination with gender transition and becoming a girl and now as a girl looking back at that guy she’s telling him you were just craving an object you didn’t know what I know and how beautiful it is on my side. “You’re an unfortunate slight” the present male in my body and the one that I would go back to if I the transition would be very weak and unfortunate. At this point I’m much better being a hot-blooded woman than an unfortunate slight of a man.
“To watch the stoic squirm” I think she’s referring to like how guys are more stoic and unmovable and unable to be made to squirm by a woman unless he becomes that woman in which case there’s going to be some of that for sure because the transition is very uncomfortable. “Must be strangely exciting for Shepherd to meet Shepherd” most people never experience two separate personalities within their whole body unless they’re mentally ill. To go from a masculine train of thought and personality to female via hormone replacement therapy is like watching a new Shepherd come in and lead the old one out. But at some point you have two coexisting simultaneously as if two shepherds leading two separate and distinct flocks.
“Like any uncharted Territory” I think everyone here knows what that’s about LOL “I must be greatly intriguing you speak of my love like
You have experience love like mine before. You thought you knew what it was like to be female and it must be greatly intriguing to think of yourself as a different gender, but you have no idea what you were getting yourself into or what you thought it would be like. I know you were wrong because I know exactly what you experienced because I used to be you.
“I need a moment to deliberate” do I really want to continue with the transition knowing what I know now? Am I going to regret this?